The Secrets of Success for Creative Women: 12 Essential Habits

January 22, 2013 by

I think about success a lot. I wonder what it means to be successful and I want success of my own. I think we all want this.

We all want to contribute something meaningful that has value to others and get paid to do it.

I am doing my dream job. I love writing, creating, thinking, and cultivating inner beauty. But making you feel good and helping you realize your own dreams is what I really love. I want my success, and I want yours too.

So, I sat down and compiled a list of some essentials of success. And I am going to be honest with you. A big part of my definition of success is earning money. Making a living from what you love to do gives you an invaluable slice of self-esteem that can not be fudged or manufactured. As women we need this. And it is time to stop pretending that we don’t, and that our work is free.

I have no idea where the notion that it is unladylike to demand pay for our creative services came from. But unfortunately it is a mental barrier that we as women, especially in creative fields, must fight to overcome if we want our own success.

The truth is, successful people earn it. They don’t give up even when things are crummy or they fail. And they find a way to do their thing everyday. They find a way to define their product and sell it.

If you are reading this and you have days when you feel unsure, collapsed or unsuccessful, take heart. My list is not ambiguous or esoteric.

Stay focused, keep going and building your vision. Take joy in the discovery and the creating. This is your precious life. Don’t ever give up on your success.

 Christine’s 12 Habits of Successful Creative Women:

1. Write/generate material, or a quality product.

2. Organize your workspace.

3. Stay current with your tools.

4. Cultivate relationships that support your dream.

5. Deliver your material on a regular basis. Even if it is not 100%. If it is 80%, ship it.

6. Be willing to fail and try again.

7. Find meaning in the challenges.

8. Celebrate the success of others.

9. Be open to success and awake to behaviors of self-sabotage.

10. Be open to different outcomes than you intend. Focus on process, trust outcome.

11. Cherish and value yourself. Treat yourself accordingly.

12. Practice self–care in all its forms. Get plenty of rest, nourishing food, and quiet time.

Always set goals, write then down then check them off.

And remember. This is not overnight sensation stuff. This is cultivating well-being and forging lifelong habits to build your dream job! And I know you can do it!

 

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Learn The Secret to Overcoming Abandoned Projects and Low Self Esteem

October 27, 2012 by

Before I discovered the beauty of taking baby steps and gentle repetition over time, I lived in a state of overwhelm.

Goals to me always felt like pointless dreams, so lofty and above what my everyday life looked like. Nothing seemed achievable.

All my goals we akin to climbing Mount Everest while I’d never even had experienced a winter that dipped below thirty. It was fine to dream about, but not even a consideration because they seemed insurmountable.

The difference between taking action, and taking inspired action is that inspired actions are behaviors that you take with intention and consciousness in support of your overall vision. I often think of other kinds of actions as more reaction.

I would look at other people who had achieved something great and assume they were lucky or had easy breezy lives. Which was black and white thinking and actually harmful, I mean do you know anybody who has an easy life?

We all have both assets and challenges.

I had tried so many different things and they all had one thing in common, I started and stopped, again and again, got overwhelmed and finally quit.

When things became challenging, I was easily discouraged. I left piles of detritus in the form of abandoned projects, debt and low self esteem.

I needed to face my feelings of overwhelm.

I began by treating my self with loving kindness, searching for authentic happiness, making a real foundation of support for myself, then made the leap.

The leap for me was putting my dreams on paper. Writing it down made it real, sealed my commitment.

So that left me with a really tangible goal and a solid commitment, but then what? I felt scared that I would try and fail yet another creative endeavor and have to throw my dream on the scrap pile with all my other fails.

Right out of the gate that fear crippled me before I had even set pen to paper. I recognized that feeling. It was how my body and brain always reacted. Only this time I was ready for it. I had an important tool in my kit that I tried out right away.

I recognized the feeling of overwhelm and self sabotage, let it be there, and witnessed it while asking myself questions about it. I asked myself what I was really, truly afraid of. Answer: failure.

Then I asked myself why failing frightened me so. Answer: Fear that I won’t be important, accepted and loved.

I told myself that it is ok to feel that way, and that I accepted and loved myself. I thank myself for having the courage to show up. And then I picked up the pencil.

The secret to any achievement is baby steps. You break down all the components into smaller and smaller bits until you finish one thing then go onto the next.

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8 Tips for Creativity Even When You Don’t Feel like it.

October 23, 2012 by

Where does your creativity come from?

One of the most intimidating things about biting into a creative endeavor is overcoming the assumption that you have to “think” of an idea before you go pen to paper or brush to canvas. You may have a spark of an idea, but that is all you really need. And sometimes you don’t even have that.

I think the newbie mistake is to assume that you can’t create unless you have some pearl of an idea.

I think it is this misunderstanding that prevents most people from showing up to create. They are waiting for the inspiration to strike them.

Waiting for inspiration is like waiting for a bird to land on your hand. It could happen, if all the right elements are aligned, but don’t wait for it. Just show up and allow yourself to be surprised.

Creating is not a matter of being good or bad. It is about the mixture of desire and doing. It is process pure and simple. And like all worthwhile things there is an element of challenge involved. Sometimes the challenge is the showing up part. Sometimes it is getting to the finish line. But mostly it is about staying engaged. Staying with it. Especially when it gets hard.

I used to be an end result person. When I heard the phrase “Anything worth doing is worth doing well,” I thought it meant don’t try unless you can spit out diamonds. What they meant is if you try something, put your heart and soul into it, embrace it fully, own it, and let the outcome be whatever it will be.

Tips for Creativity

(Even when you don’t feel like it)

♥ Show up, and be willing to be imperfect.
♥ Focus on process first, outcome second.
♥ Stay open and engaged, especially when things feel sticky and challenging.
♥ Remind yourself that creative solutions most often happen when you are not trying or gripping.
♥ Check your attitude. If you are already in a grouchy mood about it, can you ask yourself, “Where can I find the ease in this project?”
♥ Don’t try to match a desired outcome, instead witness the real-time evolution of the project. Allow it to take you somewhere you don’t expect.
♥ Get up and move your body, do a little three minute dance to your favorite tune, then go back to it. Fresh blood flow.
♥ Back off on the caffeine. I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to hear this. But too much can make you freaky and impair your focus.

 

 

 

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How Peggy Guggenheim Inspired me to be a Curious Passionista

October 12, 2012 by

This is an excerpt from a book I am working on about finding and living a life of meaning and purpose. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you are on your path to living your ultimate life.

 

“I spent a month in January in Venice Italy. It was low season, not a whole lot of tourists, and bitter cold.

I make a pilgrimage to Peggy Guggenheim’s house every time I am in Venice. Her beautiful palazzo turned museum still holds magic energy from her reverential treatment of art.

Peggy herself is buried in the garden along with her ten dogs right next to the Yoko Ono wishing tree.

The wishing tree has bare branches that hold small scraps of paper that tourists scrawl wishes on then tie to the tree. There was a flurry of paper scraps in and around the tree, fluttering with secret wishes.

That blustery day I sat under the wishing tree, next to Peggy and her dogs. I had a wish burbling around in my head that I was desperate for. I wanted to be a successful author. But putting that exact wish on paper seemed inaccurate because I didn’t just want to be an author, I wanted to share myself and my thoughts with others in a way that had value to them. The way I was enjoying at that very moment Peggy’s contribution to the world in the form of her former residence, and her glorious contemporary art collection.

She loved art so much that her love spilled over in the form of sharing. Anyone who visits her palazzo is the direct beneficiary of her love of art.

I wanted to touch people too, in that exact same way. Even though my wish of authoring books seemed small in the moment, I picked up a fresh scrap of paper and wrote:

“I wish that I may have the strength to find, share, and enjoy my full potential so that I may live a life of purpose, and meaning.”

It was up to me to find the potential, but I let Yoko Ono, Peggy and her dogs worry about the how. I sat there under the wishing tree in the gusty wind, and remembered how even though Peggy led a life of extreme privilege, she had known her fair share of sorrows. As does Yoko. As do we all.

You are not guaranteed a sorrow-free life. The path to realizing my full potential may bring unexpected sorrows, but I was willing to risk that for my wish.

So I tied my paper onto the wishing tree, gave Peggy a last nod, and continued on, knowing that each moment is like a  wish on a precious scrap of paper tied to the tree. You take a breath and a risk and hope dearly for it to come true.

I vowed to keep looking for my potential. The only way I can think to do it is to stay curious about myself, about my sorrow and joy equally. But whether the process is a sweep of elation or a path of one breath at a time, the meaning and purpose is mine to discover and to be eternally curious.”

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Checklist for Achieving Great Things

October 10, 2012 by

Achieving great things is not magic. There is a mystical feeling of flow, but people who do good meaningful things have to work at them. Even rock stars have to practice.

When you see a painting hanging in a museum, all you see is the polished result of hours and hours of labor, attention and practice. You don’t see the sketches, the color studies, or the crumpled up scraps of paper that were tossed on the floor. You don’t see the sacrifice the artist made to make that painting.

Achieving great things must come from the joy of process.

Parts of process can be extremely challenging. When things get hard and unsexy, most people quit. Mental doubt and discomfort can be the nails on your creative coffin. Don’t let them. Let those thoughts float by. They will exist, but they do not define your value.

I used to stand in awe of other people that seemed to accomplish so much. I always wondered how they did it, what special skills they possessed that I didn’t. Why they were successful and I wasn’t.

I had a lot of distorted thinking.

I held myself to an impossible perfectionist ideal that prevented me from accomplishing anything because I thought I had to be good. It took me a long time to realize that by attaching that kind of expectation to myself I was limiting myself and preventing so much possibility.

Nothing limits your talent like assuming that you have to be good before you can participate in life. Your life is a sweet treat. You decide how to nibble.

You must learn to suck with abandon. When you attach your self worth to how good or bad you deem yourself to be at something, you limit your joy and your possibility. Try. Fail. It is all part of the process.

 

Here is your How to Achieve Great Things Checklist.

  • Show up. Even if you don’t want to, even if you just know you are going to be terrible and grouchy.
  • Get curious. Watch and wonder about other people and their process. We all have something to teach each other.
  • Listen. Especially to yourself. I wish I had a brand new parasol for every time I ignored my own advice or talked myself out of my authenticity.
  • Don’t Quit.
  • Fail. Rinse and repeat.
  • Enjoy yourself.

Nothing new there. And you already knew all that anyway. This is just a reminder that your great things are a work in progress and that you are a sweet treat!

 

 

 

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Perfectionism: Your Well-being Enemy

July 23, 2012 by

Perfectionism is your enemy. Harsh words right?

It was just that type of harsh reality that I had to adopt in order to put myself out there creatively. Let me explain why perfectionism is one of your greatest creative foes.

Most of us desire to express ourselves and be heard with what we do. Especially if it is a creative endeavor. In order to express ourselves, we must put something we care about out there in the arena. We must be a gladiator and get in the ring.

There will always be pudgy judges who deem themselves the keepers of your worth. And let it be known that the critics rarely get in the ring.

Going to your edge and finding your greatness depends on your faith and vulnerability. Your success is determined by your bravery to get up again and again and be willing to try and fail. Try and fail. If you are too worried about how you look, what people will think and those pesky judges you will never see the lion. Your ability to stay a focused warrior does not require you to be perfect. It only requires that you show up and wield the swords of your best intentions and talents. Pudgy judges be dammed.
How to know if you are a perfectionist:


When you try something new, are you one of those people who won’t share it or show anybody until it is perfect?

Do you have impossible standards and expectations for yourself?

Do you think that things you try are a direct reflection on the kind of person you are?
These are crippling attitudes and standards that will keep you forever stuck, and bar your from realizing your potential. Learning to see them clearly when they pop up is your task. They are the lions.

Your sword is consciousness. Acknowledge the claw swipes. Acknowledge them for what they are, paper tigers.

You will never regret getting in the ring. You may regret bowing to critics and letting them prevent you from your greatness.

Photos: Teacup by Lisa Devlin Photography, Lipstick Girl by Estee Lauder Madmen Collection, Heart shoes via Shop Bando.

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Recipe For Glamorous Wellbeing

May 3, 2012 by

 

I think of being glamorous as being your best, most creative self, and sharing this sparkle with others.

Engage in creativity to plumb to the depths of your soul. That is where the goodies are!

Never wait to “think” of a good idea.

Inspiration happens when you are engaged in the flow of the moment.

The window to your inner secrets are revealed when you are brave enough to allow things to transpire during creative engagement.

What does that mean? Show up. Be willing to be imperfect. Let the moment unfold.

You will be amazed at what comes out.

 

Photo: Isla Fisher via Listal. Thank you Nadia!

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How to protect yourself from “Creative Predators”

March 5, 2012 by

As a freelance writer, designer, and artist, I feel it is very important to have crystal clarity on the kind of business relationships you want to manifest.

Lack of clarity opens you up to vulnerability, and to people who will take advantage of you. I call these people “Creative Predators.” It is up to you to know how to protect your time, energy and creative vision. By gaining clarity you will also know how you want and need to conduct yourself in the business world.

I define Creative Predators as:

 People who willingly seek to drain, take advantage of, or manipulate the creative vision of others for their own gain.

In order to protect yourself, and thrive in your creative and professional life, print and post these rules.

You may not always be able to achieve them in a fast paced workplace, but it helps to know what you want and where you are going.

Anyone who has ever worked a day in their lives knows that there are always different personalities to juggle in the workplace. There will always be an office gossip, a know-it-all, a drama queen, and grump.

 Being in a creative business is hard. Working freelance can be as wonderful as it is brutal. It pays to have a vision for the creative aspects of your work, and I believe it also pays to have a vision in the kind of relationships we seek at work.

After all, we spend so much of our time and energy on business relationships that it only makes sense that we would want them to be as vital and thriving as they possibly can be. It benefits everyone.

Not only does my manifesto allow you to establish a plan for healthy work relationships, it helps protect you from Creative Predators.

 

The Vibrant Business Relationship Manifesto

Mission Statement:  Avoid creative predators by getting clear on the types of business and professional relationships you want to manifest.

 

 A healthy, sustaining, and vibrant professional relationship is defined as and includes:

  •  Mutual recognition of work and projects well done.
  •  Respect for each other’s work and time.
  •  Good communication about projects, deadlines, and submissions.
  •  A sense of appreciation when the need calls for it.
  •  If criticism is involved, then clear, and factual based, non-emotional feedback is given in the spirit of propelling projects forward, and improving them.
  •  If ideas are being bandied, there should be a respectful, reciprocal flow that nourishes the project with an understanding of the creative process.
  •  There should be an understanding of the creative process in general, which includes unfinished work and rough drafts.
  •  There should be an understanding of fair compensation and time as a valuable asset.
  •  There should be a spark of joy that resonates in the transactions and projects that indicate a love of the field and job.
  •   There should be a “glass half full” attitude about the work and  passionate intention, vs. emotionally driven behavior.

Among this list there are two Non Negotiables:

  • ♥ Good communication
  • ♥ Respect and value for creative energy and time.

These are musts.

 You can’t talk an angry boss, co-worker or client into loving their job, but you can insist on being treated fairly and with respect.

There will be certain situations that arise that you are not obligated to fix. Learn to recognize the difference between an action taken to further the project and the health of your career, vs. unsolicited co-dependant “fixing” and improper boundaries.

Your “problem children” may not change over night, or ever for that matter, but unless you have the lucidity for what you want, you won’t have the road map you need for establishing the best career you possibly can.

 We all have a calling. Some of us have found it, others are awaiting that voice. No matter where you stand in your life process, having clarity in all your relationships will deepen this calling, or simply allow it to be heard.

Because of your new clarity, current relationships might be challenged. This is a good thing. You need to know what partnerships are reciprocal, and which ones are energy-sucking-life-force-draining bottomless pits. When we move away from the toxic it allows the healthy to move back in.

Having a vision for the kind of business relationships you seek will not only bring these types of people into your lives, but also give you a sense of self respect that will not only further the richness of your career, but make your professional journey fulfilling and bountiful, even on the tough days.

Good business affinities benefit everyone. And most importantly I believe that developing these kinds of healthy alliances will benefit your pocketbook too.

You can have your sanity and your Jimmy Choos!

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The 8 elements of bravery for scardey cats

February 13, 2012 by

scared kitty

Sometimes it is when we are most afraid that we learn about our bravery.

I spent the weekend at a wellbeing workshop that unbeknownst to me when I signed up, was mainly movement based therapy. I am no stranger to therapy, but COGNITIVE is what I have experience with. Ya know, where you talk about your problems. This was not like that. This was non verbal for the most part and lots of acting out your feelings animatedly with sounds and full body movement. In front of lots of people.

Probably best I didn’t know this in advance because I probably wouldn’t have tried it.

I was so glad that I allowed myself to feel like an idiot and experience discomfort with my toes dangling over the abyss of my edge.

And here is why.

  • I discovered that when I do things that are beyond my comfort zone without quitting or collapsing, that I access my courage.
  •  Bravery happens when we are frightened and uncomfortable.
  • I discovered that I do brave things all the time.

What does it mean to be brave? Bravery isn’t a showy gesture or grand display. Bravery is quiet. Bravery is vulnerable.

Here is my list of brave deeds.

1. Showing up and willing to be imperfect in spite of vicious critics feels brave.

2. Willingness to experience discomfort. (Not pain. Ya got an owie, get a band-aid. I am talking about emotional discomfort.) By flailing my arms and squawking like a bird I learned I can get past my inhibitions and momentary embarrassment by not turning away from the feeling, but embracing it instead. That and praying like crazy that there was no video documentation of this.

3. Taking full responsibility for my life and where I am. I am the only one in charge of my reactions a choices. Random stuff always happens, but how I choose to react is always up to me. Accepting full responsibility for all my choices and owning them feels very brave.

4. Admitting that no one is coming to save me feels brave.

5. Admitting that I have really old angry feelings about the past feels brave. As enlightened as I would like to think I am, I still hold on to anger from long ago. The more I look at it the lighter the load gets, and boy do I wish I could just drop that stuff at the door. But it is not so easy. But I know how to recognize it, how to be with it, and how to allow it. And I know over time that burden will become as heavy as a tiny feather and I will be able to just put it in the palm of my hand a blow it into the wind.

6. Making commitments is brave. Commitments are not goals that you simply achieve and then you don’t have to do them anymore. Good, worthwhile commitments are life long. Commitments to health, exercise, nutrition, nurturing loving relationships, financial health, etc. All these require ongoing mindful attention. But by committing to them your life is enriched immeasurably.

7. Being vulnerable is brave. Putting yourself out there is brave. Being a creator vs. a critic is brave.

8. Speaking your truth is brave. Ever get that yucky feeling in your stomach when you should have spoken up but didn’t? Should have done something, but couldn’t? Or were not honest about your true feelings because the truth was too uncomfortable to look at? Living in your truth is liberating. Keeping secrets about yourself keeps your heart locked up in a tiny box. Crack open the box and let people see you, warts and all. Your brave, authentic self is waiting for you.

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