Heart Centered Coach Community for New Life Coaches

There are 5 key things that nobody told me when I decided on becoming a life coach.

I love being a heart centered business coach and life coach. I honestly think I have the most amazing clients and I sometimes wonder what I ever did to deserve being able to coach such beautiful and amazing women.

I know how awesome they are because I used to work in retail and many of the customers were…how shall we say…less than awesome. Some girls tried clothes on and left them in a pile on the dressing room floor, or worse tried on the entire freaking store just to model for her boyfriend and trot out without buying a darn thing with not so much as a thank you (if this is you cut it out!)…but I digress.

One of the very best things about being a coach is the clients.

My favorite clients are women who are into self-actualization, are lifelong learners, givers, and care about animals.

I knew the clients would be amazing.

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But here are a 5 things you might not know about becoming a life coach.

1. You do actual coaching less than 20% of the time.

Coaching clients is only a small fraction of what you will be doing. Sooo much of your time will be spent defining your brand, creating content such as blog posts, instagram photos, website pages, Pinterest posts, YouTube videos, online courses, podcasts, ebooks, etc. Like any online business, most of your time is spent trying to find your ideal clients, and serve them with awesome, quality information. Coaches are idea sharers, content creators and online marketers. It’s the way it is.

2. You have to know some tech.

Many new coaches have no clue how important it is to be able to manage your own website. I mean, you could conceivably pay someone to manage your site for you, but you are going to have to be able to create your own posts and pages in WordPress or Squarespace, or Leadpages. I know how desperately resistant and foreign it can feel to be confronted with the fact that you are going to have to, at the minimum, create autoresponders in Mailchimp. Knowing tech basics is part of the territory.

3. Many people who call themselves “coaches” are total cheesebags.

Coaching is one of those fields that unfortunately is filled with randoms who can call themselves a coach. Fortunately this is changing and the formally trained, heart centered coaches that have their client’s best interests in mind tend to stand out. One of my favorite promises that cheesy coaches say are “Make 6 figures in a few months.” I’m sure it’s possible, but building a coaching business is a long game and your reputation as a service provider takes a little while to build.

4. Coaching is about knowing how to ask questions that help your clients have insights and get into action.

You don’t have to know everything and be a wizened guru. You do have to be a great listener who asks powerful questions. You have to have awesome boundaries too. It’s all part of being a giver. As a coach you help your client, no matter what your niche is, to identify where they are, where they want to go, and how they want to get there.

5. You will experience personal growth too.

Coaching is one of those synergystic experiences in which you learn from your clients and together the best parts of each of you come into play. Curious listening and humble inquiry is the backbone of helping professions. When you allow your client to shine, guess what…you shine too! Honestly it rules.

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If you are a new coach, or want to become a life coach it’s good to know these things up front. It’s also good to reach out to other coaches for support. Whether it’s in my Heart Centered Coach Community, or another community, it’s important to find your tribe. Find the network that resonates, makes you feel accepted and inspired and you can’t go wrong.

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Learn more about my online community for heart centered coaches and soulful entrepreneurs.

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CRE 2015 blog post image graphic 4Oh advice.

I’ve given it, gotten it and quite frankly it can really mess you up. Especially if it is from someone well intended or that you care about.

Most of the time advice is a fail because people usually don’t want it or need it.

People don’t want advice. What they really want is for someone to listen to them and to validate their feelings.

We all want someone who understands us to hear us and give us support.  But when the person who cares about us goes into “fix it” mode one of two things usually happens:

1. We resent it, resist it and ignore it because we feel invalidated.

2. We blow them off and do what we want anyway.

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But hang on, some advice is good. Even bad advice.

I recently had some terrible advice, that I ASKED for BTW, and I knew it felt wrong even though the person who gave it knew what he was doing. Because he is successful I thought his advice was a sure thing. Like he knew better about my business than me.

He didn’t. How could he? He hasn’t been there from the beginning making all the mistakes, going through the process of building my thing. He was coming in as an outsider trying to give advice without knowing the full picture.

Seeking advice like that can be dangerous unless you consider it carefully. But it could be the exact missing piece that assures you, “Yep, my gut was right all along.”

I have to remind myself sometimes how to gracefully engage in the exchange of ideas without assuming someone else knows more than me, or that I know what is best for them.

I catch myself all the time telling people what to do instead of listening and being supportive.

People feel the need to give advice because they genuinely care and want to be helpful. It’s up to you to interpret, and take the mindful action that is most right for you.

Because I am obviously imperfect, I created my Advice Givers and Getters 10 Commandments to remind myself


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The Advice Givers/ Receivers 10 Commandments:

1. Thou shalt not give unsolicited advice. Ever.

2. Thou shalt not assume someone knows more about you than you.

3. Thou shalt listen to advice with an open curious heart, trusting your gut, but using your head.

4. Thou shalt never take advice from someone who isn’t in the arena, is a terrible listener, or doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

5. Thou shalt worry about thine own self first before expositing advice on others.

6. Thou shalt omit douchey phrases like, “I told you.., “ or “If I were you.., “ or “You should..” from your connection vocabulary.

7. Thou shalt give loving, affirming support instead of advice.

8. Thou shalt ask advice seekers open ended questions about their plight. You may learn something!

9. Thou shalt be open hearted, helpful, forthcoming with what you know. You do have a gift to share after all.

10. Thou shalt operate from a transformational perspective vs a transactional perspective. (One inspires and changes lives, the other colors in the lines. Read this if you want to know more. It’s kind of buzzy and all the rage.)

What are some ways you seek advice, and find yourself giving advice? I’d like to know!

Heart centered business coach Christine Rose Elle www.ChristineRoseElle.com

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Live your best life fatigue. www.ChristineRoseElle.com

Does the pressure to be financially, physically and spiritually awesome feel like a bit much sometimes. What does living your best life mean anyway?

I don’t know about you, but trying to be amazingly awesome is a tad overwhelming sometimes. It seems like the quest to be freakishly happy, fulfilled and enlightened is everywhere.

I ought to know, because I have been espousing it and failing for years now.

This isn’t a grumble and gripe post, though there is a part of me that when I hear the phrases “live your best life” and “be your best self,” I want to run away screaming and hide. Not because I don’t want those things, but because honestly I am not sure what they even mean.

Does it mean that my life has to be a certain way before I can choose kindness, joy and fulfillment? Does it mean that if I eat a cookie that I am betraying the green juice health goddess within and should have my hand slapped? Does it mean that I have to make my business so good that it may someday be Oprah worthy?

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From Gwyneth Paltrow’s conscious uncoupling to the meditation boom, I just feel lost among all the goodness and purity. I feel like I have sticky spiritual feet and I no longer know if consciousness is a just a trend and people are just as crazy as they ever were, or if we actually are evolving into our best, most loving selves.

I do know this. I am in the process of re-positioning and pivoting my business so that I have something to share that feels concrete and actually helps people.

My “Why” (see Simon Sinek) is to support and inspire people so that they awaken to their full potential and share it with others.

But what does that really mean? My husband asked me that and my reply was, “I want to help women make money online.

He was like, “So say that.

I said, “Well, that doesn’t sound very, I don’t know…conscious. I want to help people.

Why? What is better than helping people create wealth in a way that feels good?” he said. “We all need to make a living doing something that matters to us. I don’t understand the problem.

And you know what? Neither did I.

So basically, I want to help you make money online doing something you enjoy. You know… consciously. I don’t know why everything has to be all wrapped up in reverence and complex spiritual growth. It doesn’t have to be that complicated.

But I do think it helps to understand my beliefs and why I show up everyday even when things are hard. Otherwise it’s tempting to fall back on those “meant to be” muscles instead of real earned personal transformation.

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For the record:

♥ I believe that we attract the kind of people that believe what we believe.

♥ I believe seeking learning and deep, compassionate understanding is the best way to grow into a world that is changing around us.

♥ I believe that we all have the power to learn from some of the horrible choices that we make along the way.

♥ I believe taking responsibility for your life is the best way to empower yourself to make difficult changes.

♥ I believe that sticking your neck out, willing to experience vulnerability is essential to finding out about yourself.

♥ I believe that having a relationship to something bigger than yourself is different for everyone, and necessary for fulfillment.

♥ I believe that designing your life around helping people that want to help people is the fastest route to fulfillment.

♥ I believe that we all do dumb things that we wish we could take back, but that those are the things that have the power to change our perspective.

I don’t know if I am ever going to be awesome enough to change the world in any significant way. But I believe that if we start with loving the people around us in a real way that is humble and laced with curiosity, that we develop the confidence we need to show up and keep trying.

So there you go. Is that conscious? I have no idea. That is just the best I’ve got right now.

Am I living my best life?

Well, my life doesn’t have all the fancy bells and whistles that I always imagined my ultimate fantasy life would have. But it is filled with work that is challenging and fulfilling with super cool people who I love, a loving hilarious husband who adores and delights me, and two fur babies. I truly do recognize those things and deeply cherish them, and I know that I earned the ability to awaken to just how fragile and sublime those things are. And I don’t mean it in the #blessed sort of way. I mean it in the “OMG I better wake up and realize how awesome my life is right now so I don’t miss it if I suddenly die in a giant fireball, or zombie attack,” sort of way. I mean it in the “fuck life is short,” kind of way.

Living your best life is learning to identify what is wonderful about your life in the midst of worry, fear and dissatisfaction, and allowing those blessings to fill you up with gratitude and love. Even if that gratitude stems from the fear of being eaten by an army of the undead, or of significant death bed regret.

It’s pretty simple and boring I guess, but I’m ok with that.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you believe.

I would love to know how your best life is going.

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Are you really broke? www.ChristineRoseElle.com

Let’s face it, heart centered business people struggle with their finances sometimes.

Both my husband and I have been following our passions for almost 6 years now. To say that I thought we would be doing better financially by now is the under statement of the universe. Basically, as a couple in our 40’s, it has been very challenging to see other couples our age going on regular vacations, fixing up their homes, and basically enjoying the fruits of the hard hours and ground work that we usually do in our 30’s.

We haven’t been on a vacation in 8 years, our house has TONS of deferred maintenance, we gave up our car and we pray daily that no major appliances give out. When I hear other entrepreneurs say that they struggled for months until they started seeing money flow in, I want to freaking scream.

But then I remember…I am not a victim.

We chose this.

We chose this path of building a life that helps others using our passions because after my husband’s brush with death in 2009, we realized that we only live this one precious life and we wanted to spend it being useful to other people.

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Making that conscious choice required so much faith, and belief in ourselves. We didn’t know we had so much faith until we truly needed it.

We have walked the razors edge of financial chaos more times than I am comfortable telling you about. We knowingly made the necessary sacrifices because we knew that being of service to others was a path to a life well lived.

It is tempting to describe our finances in terms of “being broke,” or “having to go without.” But that would imply that we have not made very conscious choices about our situation.

The truth is, all of our resources are tied up in development. We are not broken. We are not poor. We are not even cash negative. We are at our edge having sunk every penny into building a better financial life for later.

There’s a difference.

Being broke implies that you don’t have a plan or maybe even haven’t considered taking full responsibility for your situation. No one made us invest our money in our education and personal transformation. We chose that. We consciously decided that we wanted to pursue careers in which we help people using our skill, talents and interests.

We chose re-invention. And following our dream of living a purposeful life required sacrifice. We gave up some very cush amenities to make it happen.

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Don’t get me wrong, there are moments when we look at each other and wonder why the hell we are doing this again? My husband comes home from his job at the clinic exhausted. He helps an under-served homeless population get off the streets and quit heroin.

I coach, write, and create content that might help you use your talents to follow your path of meaning and purpose.

We scrap it together, just like everyone else because we both truly believe every single person has a something special to share with the world. And guess what? It gets easier.

Mostly what holds people back is fear of one sort or another. Helping people get insights on what is making them afraid to take the next step is what we both live for.

So what is holding you back from being everything you were ever meant to be? I believe that we only scratch the surface of our potential because it takes so much work and bravery to get there.

But I believe in you.

And it is so worth it.

Here are 5 ways to know the difference between being broke or investing in yourself.

1. If you are broke you can’t imagine anything ever changing. If you are investing in yourself you know that your risk will pay off later.

2. If you are broke you tend to complain about your situation. If you are investing in yourself you take responsibility for your choices and recognize them as laying a foundation for later.

3. If you are broke you resent the abundance of others. If you are investing in yourself you see the abundance of others as possibility and potential.

4. If you are broke you think success is luck. If you are investing in yourself you see success as the result of working your buns off.

5. If you are broke you want it now. If you are investing in yourself you can see the long game.

Knowing how these two differ, my relationship to abundance has completely transformed. We are not given, we must go get. Yes, some people get lucky. They do. But most of us have to work our buns off to get where we want to go. I learned to not put my eggs in the luck basket. Instead I put them in the recognizing abundance basket.

And my basket overfloweth.

I have a loving husband. Two adorable fur babies. The ability and opportunity to show up every day, willing to be imperfect. Try new things, fail, try again. And I have you, dear friend.

That is not to imply that I don’t want more. I do. But I don’t want anything bad enough to give up on realizing my dream of making a living doing work that I love. And I love to create useful information that is beautiful.

The other day, my husband gave his shoes to a homeless man. He is my hero. I am blessed beyond what I am certain I deserve.

I feel the same about you. I want you to feel how much I am grateful for you. I give you my proverbial shoes. Because you matter that much to me.

Thank you for every beautiful comment, twitter share, and email. It means more than you can possibly know.

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  • August 25, 2015 - 3:37 am

    Jade - Oh this article is amazing lovely. What a beautiful couple you and your husband are, two wonderful human beings doing wonderful things for this world. Keep going, we believe in you! xxReplyCancel

    • August 25, 2015 - 3:52 am

      Christine - Thank you so much sweet Jade! It means so much you took time to read and comment. XoxReplyCancel

  • August 28, 2015 - 7:25 pm

    Gail Allen - Thanks for this reminder. I am definitely investing in myself big time!! Not making much money but ready to JUMP into full-time entrepreneurship.ReplyCancel

    • September 8, 2015 - 3:03 am

      Christine - Thank you so much Gail! Your comment made my day! (sorry I didn’t see it sooner!) I visited your website and love what you are doing! Stay the course! :) I sure love your vision!


  • September 7, 2015 - 11:43 pm

    Ainslie Deverson - Christine, this was so comforting to read. I, like you have chosen to work towards a life of purpose and service and know that long term the benefits will be received. But I forget sometimes and get caught up in it when like you, I look around and see the potential on the edge of falling off financially.

    Those points about the difference of being broke or investing are so true and it was nice to see them laid out like that. Beautiful article and thank you for the reminder and clarity of why.

    Ainslie xReplyCancel

    • September 8, 2015 - 3:01 am
      Christine -
        Ainslie! Thank you so much for the heartfelt and sweet comment! I am so glad it resonated with you! There seems to be so many people who blink and make 6 figures. I know the only sure thing is to never quit following your dream! I’m giving you a virtual flute of pink champagne and a ‘cheers!’ Don’t stop! Your vision matters! Bigs hugs lady! And thanks again!

^ ways to highlight creativity www.ChristineRoseElle.comHave you ever had someone supply you with one of their great ideas and then say, “You can have that idea.” As if coming up with the idea were the gut wrenching hard part.

If you are or ever have been in the arena, you know intimately that the idea and the creativity is the easy part and that execution and action is where the real dynamic and difficult work is.

I like this quote,

“Creative talent or ideas is the minimum price of admission.”

Anyone can have a great idea. That bar is low. Executing, developing and profiting from a great idea is the work.

The secret to building a business that you love is finding and engaging in a system that has intelligent, actionable goals in which you can take your creative ideas and see them through. It takes both creativity and action. And the action must point to a revenue stream in order to make money.

Why the serious, businessy blog post? Because I know what it’s like to be in pain from not making money from your coaching, writing or ideas and deeply and desperately wanting to and not knowing the first freaking thing about it.

What is more painful than knowing that you have something super valuable to share with the world and feeling like people could care less about it?

I have great news for you if you are reading this and feel this way.

You have value.

You might just not know how to put it out there in a way that showcases that value.

Here are 6 ways to start highlighting the value of your creative work:

♥ Figure out who you are creating for? Whatever you create must serve a need or solve a problem. Even if it is art. Especially if it is art.

♥ Cultivate and create for loyal fans. Not some nameless faceless many.

♥ Ask yourself if you truly like and believe in your work. If you don’t appreciate its value, no one else will.

♥ Become dedicated to setting goals and taking action. Results follow energy. It may be slow going, but if you continually and steadily put your time and attention on building something, it will happen.

♥ Identify the benefit of what you create. The creative process is a feature. How it makes people feel is a benefit.

♥ Eliminate competition and scarce thinking by identifying the unique value of what you offer, then direct it toward your intended market.

For example, take cupcakes. How would you make this ubiquitous tiny and delicious treat have a unique selling proposition? Identifying your target market, say a busy mom whose turn it is to bring treats to the class party. She doesn’t want to fill a bunch of first graders up with sugar and crap, but she wants to bring something delicious, fun and healthy. And she doesn’t have time to bake them herself.

Enter Kinder Cakes. The adorable cupcakes made from whole grains, bananas and spinach. Sweetened with agave. Delivered to you in recyclable travel packs. Or something. You get the idea.

Find a niche market that has a need and then fill it.

Sounds easy, it’s not. But it is fun and fulfilling.

Oh, and you can have the Kinder Cakes idea.

Heart centered business coach Christine Rose Elle www.ChristineRoseElle.com

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