Christine Rose Elle » Coaching and Portraiture for the Creative Enterpreneur

Create. Challenge. Coach. ChristineRoseElle.com

Saturday night I went to an event here in Los Angeles called Empower Women Everyday put on by Life Coach Celia Ward Wallace.

The conference room at the Marina Del Rey Marriot  bursted at the seams with incredible women sharing, chatting, and yes…giggling. Once we settled in our seats with our peanut butter cups and sangria, we went around the room to introduce ourselves and share our stories.

I was disheartened, but not at all surprised to hear how common it is that women are not only undermining each other at work, but we are also inflicting drama related pain.

I have definitely been in the position working with other women in which they take very covert and subtle jabs at me or my work. These Drama Queens try to gain a higher social status by putting other women down, while gracelessly and desperately trying to hold on to the spotlight so that other women can’t shine.

Working with such a person can put you in what is called the drama triangle.

What is a modern woman to do with such a colleague?

Without getting too nerdette on you, here is a breakdown of the drama triangle.

There are three modes when in situations of conflict.

Victim

Perpetrator.

Rescuer.

Victims feel like they have been wronged, put down or are helpless. Perpetrators are the ones who pressure or coerce the victim or maybe just flat out criticize, gossip or bad mouth.  Rescuers feel like they must swoop in and save the day and receive credit and attention for doing so.

Here’s the kicker. Usually in situations of conflict there is a part of each of the Victim, Perpetrator and Rescuer in all of us. Sucks right?

By taking responsibility for your part in conflict you can flip the switch on these negative roles.

According to creator David Emerald, the opposite of these three modes are:

Creator.

Challenger.

Coach.

The Victim becomes a Creator by taking responsibility for herself and asks, “What do I want from the situation, and now what needs to be done?”

The Perpetrator becomes a Challenger who is focused on learning and growth and asks, “What is a positive alternative to putting someone down?”

The Rescuer becomes the Coach. The Coach inspires others to take action with encouragement and support and asks, “How can I be supportive with out rushing in to solve?”

It’s looks like this:

Victim–> Creator. Now what needs to be done?

Persecutor–> Challenger. What is a positive alternative?

Rescuer–> Coach. How can I encourage and support?

It is not easy to do this for ourselves. We can begin by looking at some of the painful drama that we are experiencing now, or in the past, and examine where there is room for a shift of consciousness around how we see our role in the drama.

To learn more from David Emerald, the creator of The Empowerment Dynamic, click here.

I would love to hear about some of the ways you handled the office drama? Let me know in the comments below.

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flourishing wealth

When you hear the word wealth, what comes to mind? Buckets of money, beautiful moments, time-shared with loving friends?

I admit, when I was younger, I though wealth was having plies of money. I also used to think it was something that other people had. Not me.

Now that I am older, my relationship to wealth has changed. I have a more holistic relationship with wealth. I now think of abundance as flourishing wealth.

Flourishing wealth is made up of three things.

1. Radiant wellness: Healthy body, mind and spirit.

2. Conscious relationships: Loving, reciprocal dynamic connections with friends, family and colleagues.

3. Abundant lifestyle: A life that is time rich, with financial freedom, and serenity.

If you want to know more about Flourishing Wealth, watch my tutorial video.

Visualization is an important part of creating the life you want. People rich in abundance, joy and flourishing wealth usually have a practice of identifying what they want through visualization. It is the soul equivalent of writing your goals down on paper.

5 ways to use visualization to change your relationship to wealth.

♥ Allow yourself to imagine yourself engaging in activities that access your highest potential.

♥ Imagine yourself engaging with people that excite, delight, and energize you.

♥ Work on vividly painting each detail in your mind’s eye. The more specific you go, the more likely the occurrence.

♥ Go big. You will be surprised how challenging it is to even allow yourself to dream about the possibilities.

♥ Before you go to bed, get detailed with your visualization scene to lay some sub conscious processing in your mind.

I am all about action. Great ideas are important, but it is the showing up and taking steps that creates results.

What is one thing you are ready to take action on today? Let me know in the comments below.

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Solopreneur Base Camp Checklist www.ChristineRoseElle.com

As a fledgling Solopreneur, I have already been through many different cycles of my business. There is a wonderful synchronistic momentum that happens when you find your mission and then keep moving toward it.

My “why” (see Simon Sinek) is to support and inspire people to awaken to their full potential so they can share it with others in a fulfilling way.

I find myself in an interesting limbo at the moment. I am about to take my business to the next level. I have hired people to help me realize and help with all my great plans so that I can bring you tons of value, while being charming and inspiring.

So I find it strange to be in a place for the next few weeks where I am kinda/sorta waiting for the “roll up your sleeves” part of my plan.

Last week I found myself asking myself, “Shouldn’t I be doing something more right now?” And I was actually feeling kind of bad about it.

Then I put it into a different context that really changed my perspective, and I realized that this ‘lull’ is actually a very important part of progress.

It’s called base camp.

Base camp, for solopreneurs is a lot like the base camp for mountain climbers.

You have a challenging, specific goal that is going to require all your resources and in order to utilize those resources effectively, efficiently and to survive the journey you need to support the whole thing by starting the next phase of your journey out properly.

It’s not about chilling, it’s about mental and physical preparation. However,doing some chilling is part of it.

It’s like putting some relaxation-bucks in your bank of reserves.

It is so tempting to blow off base camp and just get on your way. Most entrepreneurs want to be on their way to business awesomeness like, yesterday.

I feel, ya. Because I want that too.

I figure that these moments of quiet before the marathon gun goes off are essential for making it to the end.

So event though it is beyond tempting to sneak in a quick project before I launch the next phase of my business, I am going to take a page out of the Savvy Mountain Climbers Handbook, (no that doesn’t really exist, I just made it up) and keep things mellow here at base camp.

Soloprenuers are like athletes. We have tons of raw talent that needs to be guided and coached. We also have to lay low before we get in the ring.

Honestly, I can’t believe I have just used not one but thrice sport metaphors. But there it is.

I made a handy checklist for you fellow base campers in case you find yourself wondering what the heck you are supposed to be during before a big project gets underway.

Solopreneurs  Simple Base Camp Checklist 

♥ Clear out old files, Physical and digital. You will be amazed how much this helps with clarity.

♥ Declutter your workspace.

♥ Fine tune your mission. Dot your “I”s, Cross your “T”s.

♥ Determine where you need to ask for help.

♥ Assemble your best team mates.

♥ Rest.

And get ready for greatness.

I would love to know what you do before a big project. Leave me a comment below!

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5 biggest myths

Making a living from scratch is hard for anyone. Artists and creatives tend to make it even harder for themselves. Certain beliefs about business and making money as an artist held me back for years. I don’t want that for you.

I want you to crush it!

Here are the 5 biggest myths about creating a business and making money from your art:

1. Just follow your passion and the money will come.

No. I want to scream and freak out when I hear people say this. Yes, you have to be passionate about what you are doing otherwise when things get difficult, you will want to quit. In order to make money from your art, you have to take inspired action based on a plan with goals. It is totally fine if you art is a hobby, and you want to create and blow with the wind. But anybody who makes art will tell you that there are days when you just don’t freakin’ feel like making anything. If it a business, you don’t have a choice. Go pro and show up with a plan even on the days when you don’t feel like it.

 2. You will be creating most of the time.

Sigh. If you want to make a living from your art you will be creating about 20% of the time. The other 80% is spent marketing, making connections, the financial crap that everyone hates, internet stuff and emails.

 3. You need to get better at your craft in order to be worthy of making money.

You just need to be ‘good enough.’ Seriously, how many times have you looked at another artist who is crushing it and said to yourself, “I’m better than her.” Well maybe you are, but she is out there marketing her work and selling it. It’s not always the cream that rises to the top. It’s the one who is out there working it.

 4. Making money from your art is based on luck.

Ok, not going to lie. Some people do actually get lucky. But even if you are one of the lucky ones, you still need to show up and deliver the goods. So opportunity will only take you so far. A sure thing is showing up everyday, willing to be imperfect and not giving up. Things can get real dark sometimes. Especially for us sensitive artists, writers and creatives. Making art requires grit, putting up with a lot of crap and opening yourself up to beauty in all it’s forms. We are modern day alchemists and art chooses us most of the time. Our job is to get out of our own way and let it. Again and again. I don’t call that luck. I call that fierce determination.

 5. You don’t need other people to make it happen.

Creating art is often a solitary experience. And most of us like it that way. But nothing, and I mean nothing productive happens alone. We need other people, and we need help. Because we suck at some things. And reaching out when we really need help is hard! Why? Because we don’t like to feel beholdened to others. But sheesh, I love helping people. It makes my life meaningful and purposeful. So I have learned to ask for help from the SAFE people in my life. I still have trouble, but since I have reached out, my business has taken on whole new proportions. We really do need eachother.

My mission in life is to inspire people to awaken to their potential and share it with others.

I have the honor of speaking at an upcoming event called Launch Your Creativity. It is happening April 25th, and 26th 2014 here is sunny Southern California.

You can get details and register here.

I have a special treat only for the people that attend.

I also made this silly video!

I want to know what you learned from trying to make money from your art! Leave me a comment below.

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LIve your best life-ishness

Does anyone else have “Live Your Best Life Fatigue?”

I don’t know about you, but the pressure to try to be amazingly awesome is a tad overwhelming sometimes. Seems like the quest to be freakishly happy, fulfilled and enlightened is everywhere. I ought to know, I have been espousing it and failing for years now.

This isn’t a grumble and gripe post, though there is a part of me that when I hear the phrases “live your best life and be your best self,” I want to run away screaming and hide. Not because I don’t want those things, but because honestly I am not sure what they even mean.

Does it mean that my life has to be a certain way before I can choose kindness, joy and fulfillment? Does it mean that if I eat a cookie that I am betraying the green juice health goddess and should have my hand slapped? Does it mean that I have to make my business so good that it may someday be Oprah worthy?

From Gwyneth Paltrow’s conscious uncoupling to the meditation boom, I just feel lost among all the goodness and purity. I feel like I have sticky spiritual feet and no longer know if consciousness is a just a trend and people are just as crazy as they ever were, or if we actually are evolving into our best, most loving selves.

I do know this. I am in the process of re-positioning and pivoting my business so that I have something to share that feels concrete and actually helps people.

My “Why” (see Simon Sinek) is to support and inspire people so that they awaken to their full potential and share it with others.

But what does that really mean? My husband asked me that and my reply was, “I want to help women make money online.

He was like, “So say that.

I said, “Well, that doesn’t sound very, I don’t know…conscious. I want to help people.

Why? What is better than helping people create wealth in a way that feels good?” he said. “We all need to make a living doing something that matters to us. I don’t understand the problem.

Neither did I.

So basically, I want to help you make money online doing something you enjoy. You know… consciously.

For me that means:

♥ I believe that we attract the kind of people that believe what we believe.

♥ I believe seeking learning is the best way to grow into a world that is changing around us.

♥ I believe that we all have the power to learn from some of the horrible choices that we make along the way.

♥ I believe taking responsibility for your life is the best way to empower yourself to make changes.

♥ I believe that sticking your neck out, willing to experience vulnerability is essential to finding out about yourself.

♥ I believe that having a relationship to something bigger than yourself is different for everyone, and necessary for fulfillment.

♥ I believe that designing your life around helping people that want to help people is the fastest route to fulfillment.

♥ I believe that we all do dumb things that we wish we could take back, but that those are the things that have the power to change our perspective.

♥ I don’t know if I am ever going to be awesome enough to change the world in any significant way. But I believe that if we start with loving the people around us in a real way that is humble and laced with humility, that we develop the confidence we need to get out there are keep trying.

So there you go. Is that conscious? I have no idea. That is just the best I got right now.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you believe. I would love to know.

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  • March 31, 2014 - 3:54 pm

    Kristine - Beautifully distilled in your last bullet/heart point…. That all there is. I’m tired of the thinking that we have to be better … Better ,better … It’s exhausting !!! You are awesome and I love you for your honesty and so much more ! XxReplyCancel

    • March 31, 2014 - 5:47 pm

      Christine Rose Elle - Thank you sweet Kristine! It means so much that you took the time to read. :)
      I have been thinking about you so much!
      xoxoReplyCancel

  • April 2, 2014 - 6:08 am

    Kathie - Hi Christine – Thanks for this inspiring article! Hope to see you at the end of April @ Launch Your Creativity :) Question… could you please source the items in the opening photo? (really all of your photos lol) i.e. the clothing, shoes, and that adorable little crown.

    Cheers!ReplyCancel

    • April 2, 2014 - 11:00 am

      Christine Rose Elle - Hi Kathie!
      Thank you so much for the sweet comment! And great idea! I am totally going to start giving the source info. Fantastic suggestion!

      Ok, so in these photos:
      -Dress= vintage prom dress.
      -Peep toed shoes= Ann Taylor LOFT
      -Sparkly crown= handmade by my lovely friend Cynthia Flores
      -Bracelets= Trina Tarantino

      xoxo
      ChristineReplyCancel