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Dream Job Tips for People with Multi Passions

May 20, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

Something I hear a lot from people who are trying to find their life purpose is, “I have so many interests! How do I narrow it down to that special ‘thing’ that is my purpose?”

It is very common for creative people to have multiple passions. It is also common for them to be overwhelmed or frustrated by trying to do it all.

Having all those interests can often times be very overwhelming trying to find common ground. How do you focus and actually make a living out of your passions if you can’t find a way to bridge them?

You end up splitting your attention and focus, spreading the jam of your bliss sandwich a little thin.

Combining your passions is totally possible but it takes a little honesty, finesse, creativity and approaching it like a grown up.

So lets say your passions are hiking, old films, making wallets and being vegan. That is quite a collection of puzzle pieces.

Is it possible to combine all your interests into one awesome day job?

The answer is yes, and no.

Yes, you can have elements of all your interests in your dream job, but there most likely will come a point when you have to skillfully edit.

Using the example skill set above, let’s say you decide that your to favorite things are hiking and vegan cuisine. You could have a business in which you do guided day trips where a vegan lunch is served and the whole thing is marketed with a brand of old Hollywood film noir or something like that. So the wallet thing may be out.

The caveat is that the mash-up that you come up with has to actually have a viable market. Business requires a potential revenue stream after all.

The trick is figuring out what passions can work into a viable part of your business, and which ones are going to be in the “friend zone.”

Tips for putting together the pieces of your multi-passion puzzle.

♥ Make a list of your passions. (Yes on paper…you have to identify them and write them down.)

♥ From that list pick the two that you feel strongest about.

♥ Play around with those two pieces to see if you can come up with an idea that creates a product with a niche market.

(Another example, my brother loves two things. Fishing and painting. His business is painting portraits of people’s prized trophy fish.)

♥ If you can identify possible revenue streams from your ideas, then try to work in a third and fourth passion that fleshes it out.

♥ If some of your passions just don’t fit, ask yourself if they need to be in your life in a way that makes you money? Or can they just be in your life for your enjoyment.

Not all your passions must earn you a living. Some will be in your life simply for pleasure. And that is ok. It is helpful to identify which ones belong in your business model.

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Filed Under: Work Better Tagged With: behavior, Combine, Creative People, dream job, Emotion, Job Tips, Life's Purpose, passion, Passions And Interests, People, Your Dream Job, Your Passion

How to Follow your Fear to Find your Bliss

May 13, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

Everyone wants to find their calling and follow their bliss.

For most of us our calling may not be obvious right away and fear prevents us from finding it.

Learning to face our fears is essential for personal growth. Turning fear into courage is where the growth happens.

Don’t try to conquer your fear before you start your journey. The only thing that will do is keep you paralyzed in fear, unable to make a step.

Sometimes recognizing what we are afraid of is just as hard as finding our calling. Learning to recognize when something may be important to your journey, is an important part of finding where your growth resides.

How to recognize things that might things of importance on your journey to bliss.

♥ You are afraid of it.

♥ You get activated when you think about it.

♥ You are jealous of other people who do it.

♥ Painful feelings may arise when you do it.

♥ You feel exhilarated after you dip your toes in and try it.

♥ It requires flow. (Creative engagement)

♥ It is undefined, unlabeled within you.

♥ You make up reasons or have a story you tell yourself why you can’t do it or have it.

♥ Someone else told you that you shouldn’t do it or have it.

♥ Someone else made you afraid of it.

♥ You know instinctually that you are supposed to try it.

♥ It requires consciousness and presence to do it.

♥ Other people will have a reaction, good or bad.

♥ There is uncharted emotional territory associated with it.

♥ You dreamed of it as a kid.

♥ You would do it or try it even if you couldn’t make money off it.

♥ Imagining your life without it feels sad and full of regret.

♥ There is an aspect of it that requires a leap of faith.

♥ There is a part of it that makes you feel silly or ashamed.

If any of these things pop up for you, that is a great sign to go exploring for your bliss.

And check out this fantastic film Finding Joe by Patrick Takaya Solomon. It’s a beautiful documentary about Joseph Campbell’s hero’s journey to finding your bliss. Super inspiring!

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Filed Under: Feel Better Tagged With: bliss, Calling, Conquer Your Fear, Facing Fear, Fear, Meaningful Life, Your Bliss, Your Calling

Wanderlust and Love from On The Road by Jack Kerouac

May 9, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

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Top 5 Most Valuable Life Lessons I Learned as a Stylist

May 6, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

There are so many amazing things about being a wardrobe stylist. Even when the days prepping and shooting were stressful and long, I never really minded because I always had the good fortune of working with cool people.

You can learn a lot from people under pressure.

There is a lot of stress surrounding big budget shoots, and there are always many cooks in the kitchen. You soon learn that everyone has an important role to play, including you. I learned some of my most valuable life lessons in this environment.

Here are my top 5.

1. Say yes to the project. No matter how crazy a concept is, embracing it and giving it your all is essential for great results. I know people who phone it in, and believe me you can tell. Resistance and judgment will not serve you when you’re needing to perform optimally. Say yes to the project.

2. You are responsible for your attitude. Did you know moods are contagious? There nothing worse than working with someone grumpy. People appreciate your positivity more than they let on. So take responsibility for your mood. It could be the difference between getting the next job, or not. Don’t forget, people will not remember what you say, they will remember how you make them feel.

3. Be prepared to wing it. Oh my. This could just say, be prepared. I can’t tell you many times I have praised the ever loving Lord Almighty for the times I thought outside the box and grabbed that weird random item, just in case, and found that it saved the day. I have also had the opposite experience of “Doh! I knew I should have grabbed that thing,” and then been stuck. No way to be perfect here, but you can plan out scenarios in your head to cover all your bases. If all else fails, then say yes to the task at hand and do some creative problem solving.

4. Learn to accept support from your team. Nothing ever happens alone. I used to be an, “I’ll just do it myself gal.” Not only did it require that I shoulder way too much of the burden, it was foolishly under utilizing talented people who were there to support me, and wanted to work hard for me. Rely on your good people and the results will be beyond your expectations.

5. Let other people shine. This one is huge. Other people are dying to share their good stuff. You have so much opportunity to learn from them. I wish I had known about this secret weapon sooner. The key is that it requires you to curb your ego, and to let go of the attention spotlight. The magic happens when you open up to the brilliance of other people. When you let them shine all over you, guess what? You shine even brighter. So, instead of being the person who has to be right and know everything, be the person who is curious and open to learning.

So to recap:

1. Say ‘yes’ to the project.

2. You are responsible for you attitude.

3. Be prepared to wing it.

4. Learn to use your support team.

5. Let other people shine.

Now go out there and get down with your bad self.

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Filed Under: Work Better Tagged With: 5 Big, 5 Most, Big Life, Learned, Lessons, Lessons I Learned, life, Life Lessons, Life Secret, style, Stylist, The 5, Top 5, Valuable Life Lessons, Wardrobe Stylist, work

10 Ways to Know if You Can Trust Someone

April 29, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

A big part of following your dream and the path to your bliss is sharing yourself, your ideas, and your hopes along the way. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t felt at some point a bit of shame for feeling like they over-shared. Or even worse, shared something vulnerable then had the person they told their secret hope to, betray or take advantage of them.

It can leave you feeling like a total idiot who doesn’t know who the heck to trust.

First thing. We need other people to make our dreams happen. We need different kinds of support from different people. Emotional support from our families and good girlfriends, financial support from our customers and business associates, and maybe even physical support from doctors, or yoga instructors. The point is nothing is ever accomplished alone.

One horrific experience can color the way we trust other people, and even sometimes keep us from sharing the best parts of ourselves because we are afraid of being hurt again.

So who can you trust?

Let me just say that I am a huge proponent of vulnerability in the Brené Brown sense. She believes that the birth place of creativity is the willingness to let people see you for who you are. When you approach the things that make you feel vulnerable and own it, it makes you strong instead of weak.

But that doesn’t mean go off willy nilly exposing your tender underbelly to every douche that crosses your path. It means identifying who feels safe, and who is genuinely in your pit crew. You need people you can trust and that you know without a doubt will have your back.

Trustworthy people tend to display certain qualities. When I observe these qualities in someone, I know they are a loyal, trustworthy friend, colleague, or associate.

The ten ways I know if someone will have my back:

1. They are willing to be vulnerable with me and others.

2. They know how to listen.

3. They are seeking their own personal growth.

4. They speak positively about others. If they are trashing your friends, they are trashing you. Count on it.

5. They are genuinely excited and happy when something goes well for me.

6. They have good personal boundaries.

7. They are consistent in their behavior. No unpredictable dramas.

8. They take good care of themselves.

9. They have other fulfilling relationships in their life.

10. They are forthcoming and communicative.

Give us a tweet! @XtineRoseElle Can you trust them? 10 ways to know if someone is worthy of your trust! #GoRightToDessert #BestFriends #Betterbusiness

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Filed Under: Feel Better, Work Better Tagged With: 10 Ways, A Friend, Associate, Business Associates, Family, Family Member, Friends, People You Can Trust, Social Psychology, Trust

What Creative Women Know About Success

April 22, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

If you talk to any creative woman who has followed her passion and is making a living from what she loves to do, she will have not only many stories of how she got there, but also tons of advice.

Finding and following your passion is not easy. But that is good news because nothing with meaning, significance and the potential for personal growth ever is. It is a challenge because it is meaningful. We care about it, and we don’t want to mess it up.

Well, I am here to tell you that you can’t mess it up. Oh, yes you will make mistakes. I have made so many now that I find them amusing instead of mortifying.

The only real, true, deep and horrifying mistake you can make is not to try to follow your bliss.

After talking to, listening to and learning from all different kinds of creative women, here is some of what I find to be true.

What creative women know that might help you along your way:

♥ There is no such thing as perfect. Stop caring about perfection. It is impossible, and keeps you small.

♥ You are never too old to follow you bliss.

♥ You authenticity is your currency.

♥ You are unique, and people wan to hear what you have to say.

♥ Fear is a part of process.

♥ You need other women, so don’t be douchey.

♥ Boundaries and knowing how to say “No,” gracefully is an essential skill.

♥ You must charge what you are worth, then deliver.

♥ Other people have a lot to teach us. Learn to listen and to be curious.

♥ Write your goals down, then break them into smaller parts.

♥ Negativity and complaining have no place in the world of the visionary dreamers.

♥ Lose your attitude of ‘scarcity.’ There is plenty for everyone.

♥ Take risks that may have the potential to embarrass you.

♥ Creativity begins with a willingness to be vulnerable and make mistakes.

Please share this post with a woman who is following her dream and could use a loving pep talk or a reminder that, “Hey! You are not alone, and I believe in your dream!”

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Filed Under: Feel Better, Work Better Tagged With: A Woman, bliss, Creative Women, Path, Success, Things Creative, Wisdoms, Woman, Your Bliss, Your Journey

The Path to Forgiveness and Healing Deep Wounds

April 15, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

At some point in everyone’s life, someone will hurt you.

They might not mean to, but they will. Most likely it will be something they said or did unconsciously. There will also be times in which someone, for whatever reason tries to hurt you on purpose. Because they are hurting.

Whatever the circumstances, you may wish you could forgive them, but you won’t know how.

The most important thing to know about real and true forgiveness, is that it is for you and you alone. Not for the one who hurt you.

Though it may benefit the person who hurt you, and probably will, which is a lovely side effect of forgiveness, but the person who stand to benefit the most is you.

Forgiveness can be a brutal process and if you decide to take it on, you should know that it requires stamina, bravery and honesty.

Something that may shock you, you don’t actually have to seek to forgive. You can own your hurt and your feelings and just let them be and accept that they are there, and let time do it’s thing.

But if you ignore a feeling of deep hurt, then in the long term it will take a toll.

Blowing off something that hurts you could potentially fester and worsen because you become identified with the victim story you tell, and let it define you. And that will kill you.

If you want to really and truly get to the other side of the feeling of forgiveness here is what you need to know.

♥ Forgiveness is for warriors. You earn it like a badge of courage.

♥ Forgiveness is about peeling back layers of mental material to get to the truth of the hurt. There can be lots of refuse hiding the real issue.

♥ Forgiveness entails lots of self-love, investigation and really awesome boundaries.

♥ Forgiveness isn’t about problem solving. It is about investigating your feelings.

♥ Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life. There are those who are our teachers. That is their role.

♥ Forgiveness is a position of power and strength. You learn who you are and what is true for you.

♥ Forgiveness isn’t forced. It happens organically when you are brave enough to recognize and allow your feelings to be.

♥ Forgiveness doesn’t change anyone except you. So don’t expect and medal from the person whom you are forgiving. Don’t make it about them and some outcome you hope to have. You do you.

There are people right now, at this moment who are trying to forgive you for something you have no idea that you did.

And PS… acceptance doesn’t mean agreeing with a situation of behavior or condoning it. It means seeing it for what it is, eyes wide open, so you can make your life choices.

Is there someone you need to forgive?

Remember, this is about you and your feelings. Not about them.

Some things to try:

♥ Sitting quietly, think about the hurt that you are feeling.

♥ Begin to identify body sensations associated with that hurt. Tight shoulders, stiff neck, fluttery stomach. Etc.

♥ Ask yourself if you can allow that feeling to be there.

♥ Ask yourself if you can accept the feeling? You don’t have to like it, but can you accept that it exists.

♥ Can you identify a feeling that is being masked by the story you tell yourself around that hurt?

♥ Is there room for any kind of softening around the feeling? Can you see the person as a vulnerable toddler for example?

♥ Can you breathe into the feeling?

If you have answered yes to any of these questions you are on your way.

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Filed Under: Feel Better, Uncategorized Tagged With: Deep, Deep Wound, Emotions, Forgiven, forgiveness, Forgiveness And Healing, healing, mindfulness, Path, Philosophy Of Love, Real Issue, Tangible, True Forgiveness, wellness, Wounds

3 Easy Personal Habits That Can Change Your Life

April 11, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

Problem: Balancing work life with personal life to maintain well-being.

Solution: Make daily personal appointments with yourself.

I can hear you now.

“That is really the most boring and impractical thing I have ever heard.”

Hear me out.

First, yes, I agree the name is really boring. But Non Negotiable Time was already taken by Marie Forleo. But I love and adore the concept and have been dying to share.

Here is what I mean by personal appointment.

A personal appointment is time that you spend every single day to maintain your well-being baseline, and is as essential as breathing, sleeping or eating.

It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. It just has to be regular, everyday, easy and just for you.

Even if ya gots kids, a naggy boss or a needy husband.

You. Need. Time. Just. For. You.

Even just a wee bit.

Here is an example:

My three personal appointment habits I keep without fail:

1. 10 minutes of meditation. I spend hours farting around on Pinterest, so I think I can find ten minutes to shut my eyes.

2. Morning pages. I admit, this one is not that easy because I flow for a half hour of non stop writing. But, I’m a writer. So I love it, I always feel awesome after I do it, and it sets the tone for my whole day.

3. Protein shake. Self explanatory well-being yumminess. Mine has strawberries, pineapple, vegan protein powder and coconut milk. And NO bananas. Because I am the only person on the planet who hates them. Bleh.

All three of those super important personal habits takes less than 45 minutes per day. A little more than watching an episode of Scandal.

It’s all about writing down your three personal appointment habits, and making a commitment to it.

It takes two months to form a habit. Kind of a long time, but in the scheme of your life, totes worth it! And I promise you this will change your life if you commit to it and do it.

And let me tell you, if I miss any of my personal appointments, lady gets crabby.

I just want to remind you that this is your one precious life, and if you make this minimum commitment to yourself, it sets the tone for so many other things to fall in line.

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Quit Your Bitching Habit

April 8, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

Negativity is an indulgence you can’t afford.

We all feel grouchy at times, usually because we haven’t slept well, or we are hungry or because those super killer stilettos seemed like such a good idea at the beginning of the night.

Whether you are hungry or your feet hurt, constant negativity is really just a bad habit in which you are stuck on replay.

The good news is with a little careful attention you can break those habits and find new more inspiring ones.

Outcomes of negativity.

♥ Did you know that our moods are contagious. Even if your negativity is self-directed, people still pick up on it and personalize it.

♥ People judge you based on what you put out there. They have no idea what is going on inside your head. Assume they are taking you and what you say at face value. So if you are bitching all the time, you will be known in their minds as that neg girl who dishes, even if deep down you don’t mean it.

♥ As the outer goes, so goes the inner. If you are junking up the air space with complaints and criticisms, it stand to reason that your internal dialogue is even worse. Break this habit now. You are the only one who dictates how you are to be loved and treated by others and it begins with how you treat yourself.

♥ Negativity has a reverberating effect. Literally what you put out there bounces back to you. AND it pulses out from the person you just dumped on to the next people they are going to come into contact with.

Action step: The Reframing Exercise

I challenge you to write down three areas in which you are habitually negative and do the Reframing Exercise with each.

Here is how it goes:

♥ Negative habit- Complaining about feeling rushed when I want to take my time to do something well.

♥ Reframed dialogue- Though I have a lot of integrity with my work, it is also important to be efficient and to ship things when they are ready. A time pressure allows me to take up the challenge of being laser focused until I finish. And ultimately we are all trying to meet our needs but I can see past my hang up to the bigger picture and the importance of sharing what you know even if it isn’t perfect.

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Filed Under: Feel Better, Uncategorized Tagged With: A Bad, Bad Habits, Bitch, Break, Habit, Habit Now, Indulgence, Negative, Quit Your Bitching, Rational Temperament, Your Bitch

Creative Inspiration from Eckhart Tolle

April 4, 2013 by Christine Rose Elle

This is one of my favorite quotes from Eckhart Tolle.

“All the things that truly matter- beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace- arise from beyond the mind.”

When you are all up in your head about something, you are actually cutting off that essential life force in which the most meaningful things in life come from.

But getting out of your head is a lot easier to opine, then to actually do. The great news is that you don’t have to change how you are feeling. All you have to do is get in ‘witness’ mode.

What do I mean my that? Well, I mean no matter what you are feeling you can choose to observe the feeling and body sensations instead of identifying with the feeling.

Here is an example:

Let’s say your coworker speaks harshly to you, or blames you for something. The reactive behavior is to defend, get upset, or blame yourself. Bang, you are in ‘activated’ mode. You get a hit of cortisol, and the pre-frontal cortex (your decision making abilities) shuts down and flips you into fight or flight mode. Before you can address the issue, you need your mo-jo back. Halting and observing your body sensations will put you in witness mode, and bring everything slowly back on line. So you have all your faculties back before dealing with the errant shrew.

Let me give it to you like this:

You get activated..

♥ Halt. Do your best not to react.

♥ Take three deep giant breaths observing each one.

♥ Do that again.

♥ Notice any body sensations such as tight jaw, tense shoulders, flip floppy stomach…

♥ Identify as much as you can with a description. “There’s is my tight jaw. My stomach is pulsing.”

♥ Repeat until calm.

Also, know that most often things are not personal. It is usually the other person in activated mode, not realizing her behavior. Sometimes things are personal, but you have no control over other people. You really don’t. So take responsibility for yourself.

And get out of your head so you can access all the best things in life that are waiting for you to awaken to!